Posts tagged family ledger
Becoming Home

The contents of our own family ledger would not be so special if we knew what the future held. Little by little the present slips into the past and the memories that pieced together our everyday life become precious – because that life is no longer.

Hudson and I moved into our first home in May. I woke up early that first morning still feeling like a stranger in its walls. Our family ledger sat on the coffee table. I flipped through the pages.

Our one bedroom apartment in Fort Worth - a community of relationships built from strangers one short year ago – the start of married life. I felt the present become the past. It’s a strange feeling.

With gratitude and sweet memories of the past year I turned to the next blank page. I sketched a little picture of our home and wrote this down:

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Empty Driveway

“How many times have I stood in open doorways as children left for school, asking the angels to fly alongside and bring them home to me?  Thousands it seems. 

Just now, Cary pulled away.  Today is the last day she will ever leave our home to drive to school and all too soon, the driveway will remain empty.   Angels…fly alongside this mother and give her the strength she needs to face a childless home. “

I don’t even have to wonder what this passage in my family ledger will mean to me in the years to come. Reading it again this morning, I know it will always remain as raw as the day I wrote it – only 17 days ago. 

This isn’t the first time a child has left our home for college.  Two before her have done the same.  But somehow, facing their empty rooms was easier knowing that I still had a child at home. 

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